can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
