I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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