How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
