I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
