Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
