my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize