the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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