I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize