Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
