there's paper in my vomit.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
