the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
