i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
