what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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