$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
