i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
