Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How external is "for external use only"?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
