Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Hyman64 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

Fav 11 2498 773
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7

Fav 153 1833 4775
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER

Fav 7 1416 3316
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...

Fav 10 3408 1433
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Wait

Fav 5 3153 1491
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's gameday bitch. Man up.

Fav 2 1730 921
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

Fav 9 1066 713
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.

Fav 1 826 418
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.

Fav 0 53 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT