Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
