fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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