just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize