Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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