Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she smelled like a LAN party
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
