just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
