wakey wakey hands off snakey
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
