I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
