In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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