Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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