I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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