I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
