All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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