How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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