Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
