i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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