Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
