Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
