there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
