i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
