I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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