Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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