I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
