Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
