i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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