My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
