At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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