i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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