Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
