im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
