It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
