Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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