My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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