She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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