Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
