She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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