And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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