Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
