I cockslap morals
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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