Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize