I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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