i jhust puked up my retainher.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
