idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
